Martin Kähler and Silvio

Martin Kähler and Silvio

11.07.2018

Here’s the original picture

No bullshit about the futility

I rather subtract

There are lots of things trapped in the body

If you cut it up you might release something in the air

This is why body is so popular

Body is exotic, not ours anymore

A product if you like

Congratulations everybody!

Another artist!

This was never the intention, but what happened as we were dazzled by the crystalline sparkles of material and surface and golden words. Just look how your mouth is watering. (Pulling a pearl necklace through my lips, saliva dripping on my chin). Ask me what I’m trying to emit

Me photographed by Max Huckle

Me photographed by Max Huckle

18.07.2018

Idea for next publication: The hate-scrapbook

20.07.2018

Oh my god what’s wrong with your dog? Ew, why don’t you wash your hair, what the fuck happened to your legs? Why does it smell like a turtle just ate blue cheese in here? Why does everybody masturbate in the studio?

I always thought I was a pervert who almost did all my masturbation in the studio. It’s the only time I’m alone and totally in my own space, where I truly get in touch with myself. Thanks to an Instagram post by Jerry Saltz I found that many people do it. Almost everyone who has a studio, they wank off in there. Can you imagine Louise Bourgeois wanking off in her studio with her eagle claws for hands? No wonder her art is so painful.

Where’s my sausage

Where’s my sausage

Now it’s not longer the question about who wanks off in their studio, but HOW they wank off. This might be the key to truly understand someones inner universe and art. Let me watch you masturbate, or at least tell me in detail how you proceed. Masturbation for success and forgiveness. Only these two things can save you. Oh my god I have to take a nap.

29.07.2018

This is the Madonna, they said as my tits moved to no music and nobody knew that everything was wrong, except me, like always. I hate being this observant and obsessed with perfection. Yesterday I almost licked the sponge I used to scrub the toilet just because I’m so sick and tired of being tidy. I’m drowning in laundry. This is the Madonna.

31.07.2018

I just peed in a bucket in my studio to avoid meeting anyone in the corridor. Asocial. This is the last time i see this space. From tomorrow on someone else will hide in here.

Screen Shot 2018-09-04 at 11.15.18

01.08.2018

I have two skills. Letting go and holding on. In-between there I’m wiggling around in my best outfit-of-the-day taking selfies and making selfishly radical decisions. If you follow me you’ll lose me, so right here you can start wandering your own way, away from me. What I do best is to leave. What I do second best is to hold on. And the most important things I need to hold onto I usually have to let go of to keep but then, when I have them, I lose them for real. It’s a matter of timing. And it’s never the right time. The worst is when you look back and realise you let go of something you should’ve held on to or if you have something you should’ve gotten rid of stuck with you. It’s a 50/50 chance that everything goes to hell. The glass is half full.

With that said we’re packing up and leaving Frankfurt for Milan. Dolce Vita. Or the most stupid thing we ever do. At least we’re not running away from our problems, we’re heading straight towards them.

09.08.2018

Art is norm

Anything else is a spectacle

 

There is a fundamental error within the human

This is what makes it so easy to despise them

I lie in bed for days letting my muscles relax

My spine aligns itself again

Falls into the right places without me even trying

Release the toxic ray layer

Everything that ever was cheesy or too simple could have been what made it for you

Judgement stinks it up and you leave it behind

Abandon your babies

A hole in my hand

Inspiration

Inspiration

11.08.2018

One way to stay balanced is working yourself to the point of exhaustion, where you stop reacting to outer forces or pressure with excess. You find balance through keeping constant wind blowing at you. If you are nothing you are balanced. Like when you are so drunk you have to run instead of walking, to move forward in a straight line.

12.08.2018

“The best works of art are the ones which expresses the human desire to free oneself from this situation.”

The situation being that shit we call our daily life, wrapped up in debt and obligations that we don’t even own to ourselves. Theroux left civilisation for two years to create one of the great classic pieces of literature. If everything goes to shit, I will remember that he built his own home for only 28 dollars and lived from the land as a truly free individual. I will do the same within a year if I still by then earn my money from working in retail. I will produce burrata. And only feed on that.

He lies naked on the couch and I’m wearing his boxers. He asks me one more time why I don’t want to live in Frankfurt and I say. Because I don’t want to die here.

16.08.2018

Another identity crisis brushes past me while the train crosses the border. Frankfurt is behind me, the future is Milanese. Now I can change everything I wanted to renovate about my personality. I want to be more of a bitch. I don’t want to be so friendly all the time. I want to tell people exactly how I feel instead of sugarcoating and internalising. I’m giving up on being nice. Do you know what’s nice? Shut the hell up, is nice. I’m gonna be a bad person from now on. I remember the image of Max Ernst where the Holy Mary is spanking Jesus Christ and Max and his friends are watching in the background.

Distribution

How to spend

What to share

Priorities

 

Foot in studio

Foot in studio

My first exercise in this is to not offer the seat next to me when new passengers board. Is it free? They ask. No, I say, my cat sits there. Silvio slowly blinks his green eyes at me with that calming effect. Now is the time to make those radical changes and present them as the new me to people who didn’t know the old. I leave the ghost behind. When I told her yesterday she slammed the door.